Failure isn't an option, it's a reality.

Time and time again I find myself in conversations with other parents about success and failure. "Well that just didn't work for us." "How do you make that work? It was such a failure for us."

The truth is, everything we do has a level of both success and failure. Some days I feel on top of the world with success. Other days I know I've screwed up. But tomorrow is a new day and hopefully we've learned a little bit about ourselves and the people we are trying to help succeed.

Unschooling is no different. In fact, if we are being honest with ourselves, unless we grew up in a family who has radically gone against the grain, unschooling can be quite difficult at first. We have to "deschool" our every way of thinking. This isn't the "normal" way to do things. We have to drop our facade of perfection and build bridges of vulnerability. In order to raise these small humans we have to be authentic and in turn allow them to be their true authentic selves as well.

One of my biggest obstacles has been my negativity. It is something I battle with often. I have to think before reacting or speaking often times to avoid making the worst out of the situation. A direct result of my upbringing. Like many people my age, we grew up with this idea of children being seen but not heard. Our parents expected us to figure things out for ourselves and play nicely. Throw in a father with dreams of perfection and you've got yourself a little girl who thinks very negatively about herself. To this day I still make mistakes. But I acknowledge them not only to myself but to those around me. My family sees me as human because I have afforded them the same grace I have asked of them. This is a crucial part of this lifestyle. Grace. Unconditional grace and love for those around you.

A word to always have in the back of your mind, besides Grace of course, should be "Reflection". We have to be able to reflect on not only our failures but also our successes. Making sure we are in tune with what works, even if it is fleeting. Our children are growing, we have to be willing and able to grow WITH them. We've had our opportunities to grow into the people we are, but one should never stop growing as a person. Tastes change right? I mean, would you wear the clothes you wore as a child or a teenager? Well, I would still definitely rock a pair of Jellies sandals if given the opportunity but that is beside the point. We evolve, we change, we grow. We have to acknowledge that children grow at a much more rapid pace than we do. We have to be willing to allow that to happen and support it. Our kids are going to go through so many phases. Especially when they have parents who don't stifle their creativity.

So to recap, grow, reflect, and give yourself and those around you as much grace as you can muster. Unschooling does not require riches, it doesn't require you to spend every waking moment with your child. It requires you to be there in a supporting role. Love yourself, love the people around you, and they will blossom. You will have good and bad days, let them be lessons that guide you through tomorrow.